In this week's newsletter, I have poured my heart into an essay that is very personal to me. So, find your comfiest spot, grab your favorite drink, and settle in for a deep dive. It's a bit of a lengthy read, but I hope you find it as meaningful as I found it enriching to write.
The concept of resignation, a word often associated with leaving a position in the workplace, can also hold a much deeper, more philosophical meaning. Resignation is about letting go, not just of a job or a role in a professional sense, but of the aspects of our lives that no longer serve us. To me, resigning is a powerful act of self-liberation. It involves exercising the difficult, but often necessary decision to remove oneself from the situations, people or places that no longer align with our values or needs, while creating space for more rewarding pursuits, healthier relationships, and a greater sense of peace and purpose. This freedom leads to a more authentic way of life, where our thoughts, feelings and actions are in harmony with who we truly are or aspire to be.
Resignation, in a broader sense, is not an act of surrender, but a courageous step toward gaining a better sense of self-awareness—understanding what holds us back, and having the courage to act on that realization. This process, while filled with discomfort and uncertainty, is widely transformative.
Resigning from certain aspects of life opens the door to new possibilities.
Embracing the idea of resignation has been incredibly liberating for me. Exercising the right to make choices that align with my higher self has guided me to a life that is not just deeply fulfilling, but also rich with meaning. I felt very fortunate to have been in what many would refer to as a secure position. I had a great career that also provided well for me, affording a comfortable lifestyle. This is particularly notable in New York City, where achieving any level of comfort is no easy feat. Outwardly, it appeared as though I was thriving, and indeed, in several respects, I was. Yet, beneath it all, there was an inner longing, a part of me that wanted more. Even though I was surrounded by amazing colleagues, supportive allies, and enjoyed having a great deal of autonomy in my role, there was this persistent feeling that another path awaited me, something different and perhaps more meaningful.
“Leap and the net will appear." – Julia Cameron
This realization led me to reach a decision that many praised as brave and others labeled crazy. I resigned. I stepped away from my corporate job in the most literal sense, while at the same time, in a more metaphorical form, I left behind the idea of accepting anything less than what I believed I truly deserved. Prior to making my decision, I engaged in several discussions with the firm's leadership about the recent shifts within the organization that were affecting my role. My goal was to gather their insights on the best approach to navigate these changes. Despite feeling secure in my position, the firm was in the midst of a lot of changes, and the first half of 2023 proved to be quite challenging. During one particular conversation where I expressed my concern not solely on my behalf, but also on behalf of my team, I was told, very apologetically I may add, that the current situation was likely to persist in the short-to-medium term and I didn't have much of a choice outside of dealing with it as best I could unfortunately. The message was delivered by someone I had a tremendous level of respect for and I recognized that she was in a tight spot. Given the circumstance, perhaps that was the best guidance that she felt she could provide at that time. I was disappointed.
The notion that “I didn’t have a choice” conflicted with my core belief system. I was raised to believe that I always have a choice in this life and as long as I have breath, I have options.
A few days later I headed on a trip to the Andalusia region of Spain for a much-needed break, and more importantly, in celebration of my boyfriend’s birthday. He has been an extraordinary pillar of strength—offering love, sage wisdom, encouragement, and unwavering support during a critical time in my life, for which I am eternally grateful. It was there, during this holiday, marked by moments of thoughtful reflection, I came to the conclusion that the time had come to embrace discomfort and open myself up to change.
This clarity led me to make a decisive move—upon my return, I immediately submitted my resignation. This was more than just a career decision, it was an assertion of my belief in the power of choice and a commitment to pursue a path that truly reflects who I am. I felt this tug on my heartstrings each year I set aside my true passions. Not to mention I no longer wanted to be on someone else’s timeline in terms of when they felt I was ready for my next promotion, big project or significant career opportunity. It somehow always felt subjective and, in my experience, was often more reactive than proactive regrettably. Although I had obtained my certification during covid and continued to coach in “stealth mode” with no clear strategy on when I would transition to coaching full-time, it wasn’t until a convergence of various forces and circumstances came into play that led me to choose.
I set an intention to direct all of my efforts on building a consultancy dedicated to supporting aspirational, high-achieving women (and some men too!) who are visionaries with lots of big ideas. I wanted to help them overcome the same limiting beliefs I encountered along my journey, all while embarking on my most significant endeavor yet—stepping into entrepreneurship. At the same time, I also formally resigned from harboring feelings of inadequacy, scarcity, and fear— choosing instead to embrace joy, happiness, and inner peace. This shift in perspective led me to a state of complete emotional freedom—experiencing and expressing my feelings freely, unencumbered by societal norms, prior experiences and self doubt.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” - Anaïs Nin
Following my resignation, the events that unfolded were truly remarkable. During my last two weeks at the firm, I formed deeper connections with more colleagues than I had in my over eight+ years employed there. How was that even possible, you ask? Well, as I had made my rounds in the New York office and hopped on calls with international colleagues via Teams, informing them of my departure and new career path—my candor, openness, and vulnerability gave them permission to do the same. Many expressed admiration for the boldness of my decision and opened up about their own goals and aspirations. An overwhelming number, more than I could count on both hands, revealed that they too had dreams beyond their current roles, encompassing both personal and professional desires, and found inspiration in the courage I had shown. I must say, I was not prepared for that. I worked in business development within a major global law firm, so I braced myself for significant judgment when I announced my transition to life coaching, a stark contrast from heading to a competing law firm or large financial institution, like so many of my peers. I thought, will some of these people even take me seriously? However, contrary to my belief, I was met with warmth and support. The sincere happiness that was expressed for my new path was not only heartwarming, but also a validation that I was making the right decision.
After taking some much-needed time for self-reflection, I came to understand that the fears I had about being judged for my choice were actually projections of my own thoughts, not reflections of my colleague’s opinions.
True Story:
A colleague I've known for years, although I had not worked closely with, stopped by my office unexpectedly to say goodbye on my second to last day at the firm. We had sat across from one another in several meetings, attended many group outings, and exchanged a few laughs in passing over the years, but never engaged in any meaningful conversation. She was certainly someone who I respected, but we just hadn’t connected for one reason or the next. Well, what was intended to be a short, friendly goodbye at 4 PM ended up being a fun chat and kiki about life until almost 6 PM! Generally speaking, no one stays in the office “late” on their final days, but on that particular afternoon, we both made an exception. She faced a long commute, and I was eager to leave early, yet we found ourselves deeply engaged in conversation, simply enjoying the moment and each other's company. It's somewhat embarrassing to admit, but that was, in fact, our longest conversation in almost ten years of working together. The very next day, she called me to share how she enjoyed our chat and felt that she needed to ask for my forgiveness as she “had me all wrong” all these years. She said that she simply could not figure me out...I was very professional, easy to work with and nice enough, but a hard nut to crack—essentially tough to genuinely connect with. She felt that she had misread and judged me unfairly. How incredibly gracious and kind of her to share this admission with me just as I was walking out the door. She certainly wasn't obligated to be so forthright with me, but opted to be transparent anyway. That is a testament to who she is. I reflected on that conversation for the rest of the day. Not that I found anything that was shared surprising, but rather the opposite, as her perception was indeed 100% accurate, and in many ways, was by design. This led me to contemplate how many other opportunities for connection might I have missed out on?
I truly believed that being a professional meant keeping a professional distance, not engaging in too many discussions about my personal life, not becoming overly close with anyone—that is until they left the firm, and we were no longer colleagues. I realized that while I was performing at a high level—having established a reputation for providing a quality work product and cultivating strong relationships across the firm at all levels, particularly with key stakeholders, I showed up each and every day as a very diluted version of myself because that felt safe to me. As an empath and highly sensitive person, I adopted this guarded approach as a form of self-protection in the workplace. I won't delve into the concept of psychological safety here, as it would extend this newsletter considerably and I am already pushing the limits today. However, I do address this topic in my hybrid program, ACTUALIZE 1.0, which I am excited to announce is launching very soon. In the meantime, if interested, I encourage you to explore the work of Amy Edmondson, a renowned professor at Harvard Business School. Her insights into psychological safety in an organizational context is also incredibly relevant to self-trust and individual psychological well-being.
Moral of the story—is that I often “othered” myself, a behavior that I have resigned to leaving in the past as well. I somewhere, somehow developed the masterful skill of forming strong, yet somewhat distant relationships, a pattern that extended into my personal life as well. My approach was always to allow people to come close, but never too close. I identified my conduct while doing lots of inner work and self-coaching and I elected to resign from it all together going forward—stepping away from my old way of being and moving toward creating more open and intimate connections. By committing to doing the work, I have now reached a place where I can engage with and process my emotions fully—leading to an enhanced sense of self-awareness, clarity, and a satisfying life.
When we show up as our full selves, unafraid of judgment, we not only embrace our individuality, but also create a space where others feel safe to do the same. This act of vulnerability and openness encourages a mutual exchange of authenticity, allowing us to form deeper, more meaningful, heartfelt connections built on a foundation of acceptance and shared humanity.
I hope my story of resignation is as a source of inspiration for you. What I have realized in my first month on Substack is that drafting these entries each week is quite therapeutic for me. I spent a long time in hiding, way beneath the radar with only a trusted few being privy to my true goals, aspirations and even capabilities. However, I made a decision this past summer that I would no longer participate in that behavior and this newsletter in some sense holds me accountable to that commitment.
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With Love & Grace
Nakia
Bravo, on your corporate resignation, all the best as you embark on your future endeavors with joy and happiness.